The Philosopher's Diaries

Child Development

What Is a Child?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on June 20, 2021

We imagine that children do not belong to the same species as adults -- that they have needs and desires different from ours. But a child's psychology is rather like our own.

We imagine that children do not belong to the same species as adults -- that they have needs and desires different from ours. But a child's psychology is rather like our own.

Repression

Why We Choose to Act Against Our Own Interests

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on June 15, 2021

We do not always act in our own interest. There are forces in the human psyche, inner demons, that may propel us to act contrary to reason. What are they? Why do we have them?

We do not always act in our own interest. There are forces in the human psyche, inner demons, that may propel us to act contrary to reason. What are they? Why do we have them?

Relationships

Heroic, Unkind Love

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on June 13, 2021

Sometimes, people who love each other are prepared to die for each other, but can't find a kind word to say in the right moment. Why?

Sometimes, people who love each other are prepared to die for each other, but can't find a kind word to say in the right moment. Why?

Relationships

Why So Many Seek Approval from People Who Don't Value Them

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on June 6, 2021

We sometimes fail to appreciate the love and friendship of people who value us. Instead, we seek the approval of those less interested in us and our company.

We sometimes fail to appreciate the love and friendship of people who value us. Instead, we seek the approval of those less interested in us and our company.

Depression

The Gifts of Sadness

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on June 3, 2021

Perhaps, one of the best things about visiting a place to which we know we will never return is the sadness we experience when we leave.

Perhaps, one of the best things about visiting a place to which we know we will never return is the sadness we experience when we leave.

Relationships

Under the Spell of a False Love

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on May 27, 2021

Sometimes, we get involved with the wrong person not due to illusions about the other, but rather, because we forget who we ourselves are. We look in the mirror and see a stranger.

Sometimes, we get involved with the wrong person not due to illusions about the other, but rather, because we forget who we ourselves are. We look in the mirror and see a stranger.

Child Development

How Childhood Trauma Saps Joy and the Ability to Cope

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on May 23, 2021

It is sometimes said that a bad childhood damages us. What is true, rather, is that it may prevent us from developing a healthy self, one with an inner reservoir of joy.

It is sometimes said that a bad childhood damages us. What is true, rather, is that it may prevent us from developing a healthy self, one with an inner reservoir of joy.

Confidence

Does AI Have to Be Perfect to Be Good Enough?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on May 19, 2021

We favor human judgment over the judgment of AI even when we have strong evidence that AI vastly outperforms humans. Why?

We favor human judgment over the judgment of AI even when we have strong evidence that AI vastly outperforms humans. Why?

Marriage

Is Getting Married a Bad Deal for Women?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on May 16, 2021

It is sometimes said that marriage does not increase — and perhaps, that it decreases — women’s happiness. But is that true?

It is sometimes said that marriage does not increase — and perhaps, that it decreases — women’s happiness. But is that true?

Jealousy

Why Some Parents Envy Their Children

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on May 11, 2021

Elsa's mother blamed Elsa for coming between her and the father and mocked her for being "daddy's little girl."

Elsa's mother blamed Elsa for coming between her and the father and mocked her for being "daddy's little girl."

Personality

How Many Personalities Do We Have?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on May 4, 2021

We are fragmented beings. You may be a perfectionist cook but a sloppy dresser; practice the violin for 10 hours a day but floss irregularly. What are our personalities, then?

We are fragmented beings. You may be a perfectionist cook but a sloppy dresser; practice the violin for 10 hours a day but floss irregularly. What are our personalities, then?

Relationships

Is Badness Attractive?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on April 27, 2021

There is a trope in popular culture: Women, it is said, like “bad boys.” But do they?

There is a trope in popular culture: Women, it is said, like “bad boys.” But do they?

Grief

Behind the Veil of Grief

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on April 23, 2021

It can be difficult to know what to say to comfort someone who is grieving. But we don't need to say anything: A mourner often needs not our words but our presence, in silence.

It can be difficult to know what to say to comfort someone who is grieving. But we don't need to say anything: A mourner often needs not our words but our presence, in silence.

Fear

What Do We Fear When We Fear Death?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on April 18, 2021

Freud once suggested that we cannot imagine our own death and that, consequently, we do not truly believe we are mortal. Was he right?

Freud once suggested that we cannot imagine our own death and that, consequently, we do not truly believe we are mortal. Was he right?

Forgiveness

The Desire to Ridicule

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on January 9, 2021

Doctors mock patients, IT staff laugh at users, flight attendants make fun of passengers. There has hardly ever been a person who never engaged in ridicule. Why?

Doctors mock patients, IT staff laugh at users, flight attendants make fun of passengers. There has hardly ever been a person who never engaged in ridicule. Why?

Career

The Many Promising Careers of a Self-Saboteur

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on January 3, 2021

When quitting becomes a habit.

When quitting becomes a habit.

Bullying

The Mistake Bullies Make

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on January 1, 2021

Bullies often want something that cannot be attained through intimidation.

Bullies often want something that cannot be attained through intimidation.

Adolescence

Does It Matter What "They" Think?

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on December 29, 2020

Sometimes, we find ourselves obsessing over how people see us, including people we neither respect nor admire. Why? Does it really matter what they think?

Sometimes, we find ourselves obsessing over how people see us, including people we neither respect nor admire. Why? Does it really matter what they think?

Marriage

Choosing Between Loved Ones and Our Own Happiness

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on December 25, 2020

Sometimes, the people we love want our help, but we can only help them if we sacrifice our own goals and happiness.

Sometimes, the people we love want our help, but we can only help them if we sacrifice our own goals and happiness.

Emotional Intelligence

The Pain of Emotional Ambivalence

Iskra Fileva Ph.D. on December 7, 2020

An ambivalent relationship with a loved one may be worse than a plainly bad one.

An ambivalent relationship with a loved one may be worse than a plainly bad one.