The Forgiving Life

Bullying

Emotional Healing From Peers During the "Old School Days"

Robert Enright Ph.D. on November 24, 2023

We often consider our past to be over. Yet, when bullied in adolescence, we can develop a low self-image, lasting for years. Is it time for you to restore a positive self-image?

We often consider our past to be over. Yet, when bullied in adolescence, we can develop a low self-image, lasting for years. Is it time for you to restore a positive self-image?

Forgiveness

How Daughters Can Heal From Their "Mother Wound"

Robert Enright Ph.D. on October 26, 2023

Without consistent nurturance from her mother, a daughter can grow to adulthood with discontent. Can a close other detect the pattern and assist in her healing?

Without consistent nurturance from her mother, a daughter can grow to adulthood with discontent. Can a close other detect the pattern and assist in her healing?

Forgiveness

4 Exercises for Cultivating the Mind of Forgiveness

Robert Enright Ph.D. on September 28, 2023

When hurt by others, we have to resist the tendency to define that person by the unjust behaviors against us. Widening the lens through which we view this person can help us heal.

When hurt by others, we have to resist the tendency to define that person by the unjust behaviors against us. Widening the lens through which we view this person can help us heal.

Forgiveness

When You Should Forgive Yourself and When You Don't Need To

Robert Enright Ph.D. on August 28, 2023

Self-forgiveness is both a controversial and a delicate matter. When is it good to forgive yourself? And when is it best to avoid doing this? We examine 5 points on the matter.

Self-forgiveness is both a controversial and a delicate matter. When is it good to forgive yourself? And when is it best to avoid doing this? We examine 5 points on the matter.

Forgiveness

What You Might End up Learning About Humanity as You Forgive

Robert Enright Ph.D. on July 26, 2023

As you examine what forgiveness is and practice it, you might begin to see that your current views of persons, including your perception of yourself, might change for the better.

As you examine what forgiveness is and practice it, you might begin to see that your current views of persons, including your perception of yourself, might change for the better.

Forgiveness

How Does Forgiving Cure One's Resentment?

Robert Enright Ph.D. on June 22, 2023

When a person is treated unjustly, resentment can be like a constant drip of water onto the heart. Forgiving shuts off the drip, restoring psychological health.

When a person is treated unjustly, resentment can be like a constant drip of water onto the heart. Forgiving shuts off the drip, restoring psychological health.

Forgiveness

14 Popular Criticisms of Forgiveness

Robert Enright Ph.D. on May 10, 2023

There is a consensus building that forgiving others is inappropriate and perhaps even harmful. If this is true, then the arguments should stand up to examination.

There is a consensus building that forgiving others is inappropriate and perhaps even harmful. If this is true, then the arguments should stand up to examination.

Forgiveness

Who Is the Cause of Romantic Breakups? Two Theories Examined

Robert Enright Ph.D. on April 17, 2023

Have you broken up with a partner? Are you now psychologically kicking yourself with the conclusion, "I should have done better!"? Well, that conclusion could be wrong.

Have you broken up with a partner? Are you now psychologically kicking yourself with the conclusion, "I should have done better!"? Well, that conclusion could be wrong.

Forgiveness

What Is Forgiveness? Too Many Assert and Do Not Defend

Robert Enright Ph.D. on March 18, 2023

Assertion without defense leads to misinformation for people seeking to forgive.

Assertion without defense leads to misinformation for people seeking to forgive.

Forgiveness

Be Wary of Quick-Fix Forgiveness

Robert Enright Ph.D. on February 10, 2023

If you truly want to forgive someone who deeply hurt you, beware of the new advice, which reduces forgiveness to something quick, relatively smooth, and painless, which it is not.

If you truly want to forgive someone who deeply hurt you, beware of the new advice, which reduces forgiveness to something quick, relatively smooth, and painless, which it is not.

Forgiveness

The 3 Paradoxes of Forgiveness That Confuse Many People

Robert Enright Ph.D. on January 4, 2023

When people consider forgiveness, they can see it as unreasonable. Why focus on those who hurt me and bear pain for them? Because forgiveness heals us.

When people consider forgiveness, they can see it as unreasonable. Why focus on those who hurt me and bear pain for them? Because forgiveness heals us.

Forgiveness

How Forgiving Others Helps You to Restore Your Own Humanity

Robert Enright Ph.D. on December 22, 2022

When people are treated unfairly, they can believe the lie that they (the ones injured) are less than they really are. Forgiving can reverse this false self-perception.

When people are treated unfairly, they can believe the lie that they (the ones injured) are less than they really are. Forgiving can reverse this false self-perception.

Suicide

Reckless Driving as Possible Subconscious Suicidal Ideation

Robert Enright Ph.D. on November 4, 2022

Experts have seen "disturbing trends" in motorcycle crashes fueled by reckless driving. Could subconscious suicidal tendencies be playing a role?

Experts have seen "disturbing trends" in motorcycle crashes fueled by reckless driving. Could subconscious suicidal tendencies be playing a role?

Forgiveness

How Forgiving a Person and Transcending Your Anger Differ

Robert Enright Ph.D. on October 18, 2022

Popular views of forgiveness center on transcending anger. As you stop being angry, the other has no power over you. Yet forgiving is far more than waving goodbye to your anger.

Popular views of forgiveness center on transcending anger. As you stop being angry, the other has no power over you. Yet forgiving is far more than waving goodbye to your anger.

Narcissism

Can Affirmation in Therapy Worsen Narcissism?

Robert Enright Ph.D. on September 20, 2022

A counselor's affirming the client's feelings and the client as a person is important. Yet, the counselor needs to carefully separate affirming feelings and the causes of them.

A counselor's affirming the client's feelings and the client as a person is important. Yet, the counselor needs to carefully separate affirming feelings and the causes of them.

Forgiveness

5 Key Lessons from the Study of Forgiveness

Robert Enright Ph.D. on August 17, 2022

The history of philosophy shows that ethics were de-emphasized. Psychology, too, has looked elsewhere for ways of healing people from trauma. Yet abandoning virtue was a mistake.

The history of philosophy shows that ethics were de-emphasized. Psychology, too, has looked elsewhere for ways of healing people from trauma. Yet abandoning virtue was a mistake.

Forgiveness

What Is Reality for You? 4 Considerations

Robert Enright Ph.D. on July 28, 2022

Do you see reality as objectively real? Is each person's task to understand that reality and act in accord with it, or is reality whatever a person believes it to be?

Do you see reality as objectively real? Is each person's task to understand that reality and act in accord with it, or is reality whatever a person believes it to be?

Forgiveness

Is Forgiving Another Person Always Appropriate?

Robert Enright Ph.D. on June 29, 2022

Some people will not forgive others for certain acts under any circumstances, but focusing exclusively on why that is could distort what forgiveness actually represents.

Some people will not forgive others for certain acts under any circumstances, but focusing exclusively on why that is could distort what forgiveness actually represents.

Forgiveness

When You Have Tried Everything Under the Sun to Heal

Robert Enright Ph.D. on May 24, 2022

Have you "tried everything under the sun to heal" the inner wounds of anger, depression, and reduced hope? Take heart. Psychological studies show you can heal even years later.

Have you "tried everything under the sun to heal" the inner wounds of anger, depression, and reduced hope? Take heart. Psychological studies show you can heal even years later.

Ethics and Morality

Why Self-Loathing Has a Positive Quality to It

Robert Enright Ph.D. on April 28, 2022

When we break our own standards, we can engage in self-loathing. Yet, self-loathing shows that our conscience is healthy as we feel remorse and know what we did needs correction.

When we break our own standards, we can engage in self-loathing. Yet, self-loathing shows that our conscience is healthy as we feel remorse and know what we did needs correction.