How to Meet Your Personal Goals

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There is a lot of advice out there to help you meet your personal growth goals—exercise, lose weight, become more assertive…the list goes on. But it’s no secret that people often fail to achieve these goals, even when they follow solid advice. There are no miracles. Still, you increase your chances of success when you learn to apply that good advice with compassionate self-awareness—a combination of self-awareness and self-compassion.

Obstacles and Solutions Within You

While there are many plans to help you change, the real obstacles and solutions are just as frequently—maybe more frequently—within you. You may think you lack discipline or for some unknown reason want to self-sabotage. You may think that you just don’t have what it takes. Whatever you think, the way you relate to yourself can increase your chances of making a change or send you back to your old ways.

For example, just before your planned exercise, consider the difference between responding to yourself with—

I don’t feel like exercising now. I’m just so lazy. I’ll do it another day.

And—

I don’t feel like exercising now. It’s OK to feel like this, but it’s important that I put in at least a little effort. Maybe I can get traction by just doing 5 minutes. If I don’t have the energy then, I can stop and at least know that I tried.

If you failed to exercise, consider the difference between responding to yourself with—

I’m just lazy and have no discipline. Maybe I’ll try again another day.

And—

I know I didn’t exercise because I was really low in energy, which makes sense. It’s hard to exercise then. But maybe I can find a way to build a routine. Maybe I can find a friend to exercise regularly with.

Compassionate Self-Awareness Approach

In both situations, the second way of relating to yourself recognizes your struggles and offers a caring, supportive response. From that compassionate self-awareness approach, you will be more likely to follow through with suggestions for change, such as finding an exercise buddy and scheduling regular times to exercise.

Whatever your personal-growth goals, following through with them takes persistence. But you will be inherently more motivated some days than others. Also, real-life situations will at times be obstacles. But when you have compassionate awareness, you can use empathy and compassion to build the resilience you need to persevere toward your goal.

For more on how your relationship with yourself enables you to achieve personal goals, check out my three-minute video, Overcome Your Biggest Obstacle to Achieving Personal Growth.