Verified by Psychology Today

Complicated Love

Conflicts, celebrations, estrangements, and reconnections with those you love.

Forgiveness
Breaking Free of Grudges

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on October 27, 2023

Holding grudges can keep one mired in anger, resentment and bitterness for years, negatively impacting other relationships, one's quality of life and even one's physical health.

Holding grudges can keep one mired in anger, resentment and bitterness for years, negatively impacting other relationships, one's quality of life and even one's physical health.

Relationships
Psychospeak: How and Why to Stop This Communication Blocker

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on September 25, 2023

A new communication blocker—with partners labeling each other with psychiatric diagnoses or terms—is in evidence these days. Do you do this? Here's why and how to stop.

A new communication blocker—with partners labeling each other with psychiatric diagnoses or terms—is in evidence these days. Do you do this? Here's why and how to stop.

Relationships
6 Love Myths That Can Lead to Misery

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on August 28, 2023

Love is a leap of faith, but sometimes optimism is misplaced. What beliefs feed into love myths that can lead to misery? And what decisions can lead to lasting love?

Love is a leap of faith, but sometimes optimism is misplaced. What beliefs feed into love myths that can lead to misery? And what decisions can lead to lasting love?

Anger
When Words Fail: 5 Ways to Tame Out-of-Control Conflict

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on July 31, 2023

Words can fail as anger escalates and communication-blocking habits fuel fury rather than resolution. Consider these tips for keeping conflict productive.

Words can fail as anger escalates and communication-blocking habits fuel fury rather than resolution. Consider these tips for keeping conflict productive.

Relationships
8 Secrets to Lasting Love

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on June 8, 2023

The secrets of making love last through years and decades aren't always obvious, but they show that small things can make a big difference.

The secrets of making love last through years and decades aren't always obvious, but they show that small things can make a big difference.

Friends
5 Hacks for Holiday Disaster Prevention

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on December 11, 2022

Dreading the holidays due to problem relatives, overwhelming expectations, or clashing celebration styles? This year can be different.

Dreading the holidays due to problem relatives, overwhelming expectations, or clashing celebration styles? This year can be different.

Relationships
When You Loathe Your Adult Child's New Love

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on October 10, 2022

Is your daughter's new boyfriend your worst nightmare? Is your son's girlfriend the antithesis of your dream for his lasting love? Here's what to do to show love and avoid estrangement.

Is your daughter's new boyfriend your worst nightmare? Is your son's girlfriend the antithesis of your dream for his lasting love? Here's what to do to show love and avoid estrangement.

Marriage
9 Reasons Why Many Miserable Marriages Survive

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on September 6, 2022

We've all seen marriages of quiet desperation. Why and how do people endure decades of misery? And what are the breaking points that enable some to escape?

We've all seen marriages of quiet desperation. Why and how do people endure decades of misery? And what are the breaking points that enable some to escape?

Relationships
7 Signs of Doom in a Relationship

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on August 29, 2022

Relationships in trouble can look, at first glance, very much alike. But there are some differences between marriages that weather a difficult time and those that are doomed.

Relationships in trouble can look, at first glance, very much alike. But there are some differences between marriages that weather a difficult time and those that are doomed.

Sex
Sex Education in a Post-Roe World

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on July 22, 2022

In this post-Roe world, making wise sexual choices is even more important. How do you give your teenager the tools to make responsible, life-affirming choices?

In this post-Roe world, making wise sexual choices is even more important. How do you give your teenager the tools to make responsible, life-affirming choices?

Jealousy
5 Ways to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Love

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on February 22, 2022

Is jealousy sabotaging your relationships? Are you wondering why it happens and what you can do? Here are some tips for taming jealousy so your love can thrive.

Is jealousy sabotaging your relationships? Are you wondering why it happens and what you can do? Here are some tips for taming jealousy so your love can thrive.

Friends
4 Reasons for Lost Friendships

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on March 30, 2021

Why do some friendships fade while others last a lifetime? Here are some common reasons friendships end, as well as what to do when a friend is in trouble or lost.

Why do some friendships fade while others last a lifetime? Here are some common reasons friendships end, as well as what to do when a friend is in trouble or lost.

Forgiveness
Living with Estrangement

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on February 25, 2021

You've reached out to your estranged loved one time and again and have been met with silence or rejection. What do you do now?

You've reached out to your estranged loved one time and again and have been met with silence or rejection. What do you do now?

Anger
When You Secretly Wish a Parent Would Die

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on January 25, 2021

It's a painful secret: There are times when you wish your suffering, insufferable, difficult, or distressed parent would die. What do you do with your sadness, anger, and guilt?

It's a painful secret: There are times when you wish your suffering, insufferable, difficult, or distressed parent would die. What do you do with your sadness, anger, and guilt?

Laughter
Laughing Between the Pain

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on December 28, 2020

After losing three members of my family suddenly in the same year, I thought I would never smile again. Then I got life-changing advice from an unexpected source.

After losing three members of my family suddenly in the same year, I thought I would never smile again. Then I got life-changing advice from an unexpected source.

Relationships
Love After Heartbreak

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on November 30, 2020

Before you say "never again" after a romantic heartbreak, consider these strategies for resolving past pain and taking the risk of loving again. Love can be wonderful this time.

Before you say "never again" after a romantic heartbreak, consider these strategies for resolving past pain and taking the risk of loving again. Love can be wonderful this time.

Friends
Living with Differences

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on October 27, 2020

Facing the 2020 election and the days beyond, how do you live with and continue to love the people in your life whose views are at odds with yours?

Facing the 2020 election and the days beyond, how do you live with and continue to love the people in your life whose views are at odds with yours?

Marriage
Just a Few Words of Advice

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on September 30, 2020

On the brink of marriage or commitment? Newly married and struggling? Listen to some advice from couples married for decades.

On the brink of marriage or commitment? Newly married and struggling? Listen to some advice from couples married for decades.

Friends
What New Parents Want Us to Know

Kathy McCoy Ph.D. on August 25, 2020

How can grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends best show their love and support for new parents? Listen to what new parents have to say.

How can grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends best show their love and support for new parents? Listen to what new parents have to say.