You’re Always More Than You Remember

Judgments based on memory are subject to the vicissitudes of state-dependent recall. When feeling helpless or dependent, we forget that most of the time, we're competent. It is just that, forgetting; no matter how helpless we may feel, we are, most of the time, competent to conduct our daily affairs and solve most of the problems that confront us. What makes us forget that we do it most of the time is a phenomenon of brain processing known as state-dependent memory:

Information learned in one mood or emotional state is most likely to be recalled in a similar mood or emotional state.

That's why, when resentful at spouses, we can remember other perceived offenses. But we recall only the nice things about them when we feel sweet and loving. It’s why, when depressed, we tend to think of only sad things, and when we're happy, we tend to think only of happy things. When we're angry, only nasty comes to mind, and when compassionate, we recall our more humane experiences.

Negative emotional states are especially susceptible to state-dependent recall, due to their more urgent survival importance. If a saber-toothed tiger swatted at early humans from the side, that information was necessary for survival. However, it wasn't necessary to have it in consciousness all the time, where the intensity of the memory would all but preclude other important tasks that require conscious attention. The information is "filed" under fight-or-flight arousal and recalled only during similar arousal.

State-dependent recall keeps us in whatever emotional state we’re in, simply because the brain is accessing only those memories associated with the current emotional state. When feeling helpless, it seems that we've always been helpless. When feeling dependent, it seems that we were always dependent on someone else (or some substance). When feeling overconfident, we're apt to forget relevant mistakes we've made in the past. When depressed, it seems that we never felt well. When feeling destructive, it seems that we’re forever treated unfairly.

The best way to attenuate the negative effects of state-dependent recall is to recognize how it works. We must realize that feelings states are temporary and, unless we feed them with justifications, transitory.

When stuck in state-dependent recall, deliberately try to remember other emotional states, preferably those that felt the most authentic, that is, when you were acting according to your deepest values.

You’re always more than you remember.