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Flirting

Does the "Triangle Method" of Flirting Actually Work?

Sparking eye contact, but not necessarily attraction.

Key points

  • TikTok videos claim that "The Triangle Method" is a foolproof way to make someone fall for you.
  • It involves quickly looking at one of the person's eyes, then the mouth, then the other eye.
  • It may facilitate eye contact, a demonstration of interest, and motivates lean-in for a kiss.
Oliver Rossi/Getty Images
The Triangle Method of flirting doesn't involve triangle-shaped objects such as slices of pizza.
Source: Oliver Rossi/Getty Images

Looks like people have been pushing on social media the so-called "Triangle Method" for flirting. TikTok videos on the technique have accrued more than 24 million views along with claims that it is a foolproof method for making someone fall for you. Really? And here I was thinking that good conversation and personality were the key.

The Triangle Method is all about your eyes and the other person's eyes and mouth. You are first supposed to look at one of the eyes of that person. Then you quickly shift to looking at that person's mouth, followed by glancing at their other eye. The three body parts form the so-called Golden Triangle. You are now finished with the method.

A key is not lingering too long on any of the three points. Linger too long on the person's mouth, and that person may get a bit self-conscious about maybe having some pizza sauce or Nutella there. Also, don't show an expression of disgust while looking at any of the three points. Disgust is rarely an emotion that you want to elicit while flirting. Finally, don't count in a way that the object of your gaze can hear (or see) while you are triangling.

Does the Triangle Method actually work? Well, I couldn't find any clinical trials on it. I'm not sure what the placebo control might be for such trials. Perhaps staring straight ahead? Or maybe staring at random places on the person's face?

Although there doesn't seem to be any peer-reviewed evidence of its effectiveness, the Triangle Method is based on some reasonable rationale. It facilitates eye contact, which demonstrates interest and enhances connection. That seems natural and, frankly, obvious.

The argument for looking at the mouth is that it may be a lead-in to a kiss. After all, your mouth is what you typically use to kiss, right? If that's not the case, then you are certainly doing it wrong.

Will the Triangle Method be the magical missing piece of your dating puzzle? Will you someday say, "No one was interested in me until I began the Triangle Method. And now dates are beating down on my door."

I don't know. The Triangle Method may work well for those who can naturally incorporate such deliberate moves into their repertoire or who can't remember to maintain a reasonable amount of eye contact.

Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels
The so-called "Golden Triangle" is formed by the two eyes and the mouth.
Source: Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels

But for others, remembering and trying to execute this specific routine can make things feel kind of mechanical. It could get kind of weird to have to say to a date, "Hey, could you please look up from the menu for a second? Yes, and can you lower the menu a bit so that I can see your mouth, too? Oh wait, your hand is blocking one of your eyes. Could you move that as well? Wait, wait, your mouth is now blocked again."

Flirting techniques don't really work if the other person is already biased against you in some way or if the two of you are clearly not a match.

The Triangle Method seems more gimmick than game-changer. It seems like a recast of a basic principle: Try to maintain eye contact in a natural and non-creepy manner—and eye contact doesn't mean staring at just one of the person's eyes. Staring at any single body part for too long is not a good idea.

In the end, it's best to be yourself. Act naturally rather than repeating some kind of planned technique. View flirting and dating as ways to get to know an other to see whether you indeed are a fit for each other.

That's a fit in a personality sense, not a geometric type of way.

Facebook image: CandyRetriever/Shutterstock

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